Last week was something totally different and something that I had been waiting for. Finally I got to meet my biological mother and grandmother. Let me tell you more about what happened and what I got to know.
From Vasa to Toivakka
On monday I left home and I drove to Toivakka to stay one night together with my brother Janne Mäki and his family. When it got confirmed that I was going to meet my mother at her home together with a team from finnish tv (TV2) I asked him to come with me as spiritual support. Janne is a good brother in the Lord and even if we met for the first time at my three years anniversary at my church around a year ago it feels like I known him forever. Together with Janne we have done much together and I feel that this is just the beginning. He is the kind of open hearted brother I want to partner with for the work for the Kingdom of God. I feel that God have connected us and that we are ment to work more and more together. All this is in Gods hands and the good news is that Janne is going to be more involved in the Ambassadors For Jesus Christ motorcycle ministry from next year as we are going to bring this ministry up to another lever as now is the time said the Lord to me one day. Praise the Lord as HE is good.
Meeting my mother
Tuesday morning me and Janne left for Pielavesi. We drove for around three hours and we checked out the local pizza place as we were told by the film team to wait there. They were first going to go and visit my mother and prepare everything for our meeting. We sat there for a good while and waited, actually we had a good time and to be honest with you I was not nervous but I felt strange in a way I never felt before. Around 3pm they called us and gave us the address to my mothers home and we were on our way to meet my mother for the first time since august 1972. Exciting!
The film team did some filming outside her house when me and the tv-guy walked to her house. Finally I stood behind her door and I rang the door bell. The door opened and in front of me stood a woman, my mother with tears in her eyes. She looked at me in a way that I can´t describe with words but I saw something I never seen before. I saw parts of myself in her eyes and I just felt led to give her a hug. She held my tight and I really felt that mothers love flowing out of her heart. I do not really remember the first words what she said but if I remember right she said something like: "finally, there you are" and "I have so been waiting". These words were hard for me to understand as I did not really understand the mothers heart to meet a son that has been away and lost for 38 years. Today I am starting to learn and know more about mothers hearts.
We sat down in her apartment and the tv did their thing and JP Annala the speaker asked us some questions. There were lots of emotional feelings from both sides and I could not keep my tears away when my mother told me about the decision she had to make back then before she handed me over to the person who took me to the next place. It was a hard decision and she told me that when she handed me away she prayed to GOD that HE would find me a good home and take good care of me. Now I am starting to understand the picture about all kinds of things. GOD IS REAL! HE heard her prayer and answered it. HE found me the best possible home and the best possible parents. As you might know I had a wonderful childhood and a wonderful home. My parents Olof and Maj-Britt will always be my mom and dad, there is nothing that can change that. They been taking care of me all my life and are still standing by my side, supporting not only me but my big family, helping us out where they can. I am so thankful for my parents Olof and Maj-Britt. Thank you Jesus!
My mother wanted to ask me to forgive her that she gave me away back in 1972 but I understood from what I have been told that she did the right decision. I had nothing to forgive her for and I think she should not have been thinking that way. It was with tears in both mine and my mothers eyes I could tell her that I am thankful for the decision she made and for the prayer she said. What touched my heart was that she had been thinking about me every day, every year since the day when I was moved to the home for children. It touched my heart even more when she said that she had been sad and depressed every year when it was my birthday. What amazed me and what blew my mind away was when she told that she never been depressed or sad since I called her in 2007 and told her that I am ok and I am doing well. This was just after I got saved and I got healed, delivered and set free.
This summer her daughter my sister died 28 years old and of course this was hard on my mother. But she said that with GODS help she have been able to walk through all what has happened. I also felt that this really was the right timing for us to meet and I had to ask her to forgive me for not staying in touch between 2008 and this day. I was just not ready for this relationship then and today I feel different. I know it has nothing to do with me personally but it has all to do with JESUS and what HE is doing. GODS timing and our timing are so different. I prefer GODS timing than my timing as when we walk in HIS timing it all will be perfect, awesome and fantastic. Nothing can go wrong in HIS will and timing as GOD is a good GOD, NOTHING bad comes from HIM.
The tv-team left the building and me, brother Janne and my mother were by ourselves. We had an wonderful time and I had my laptop with me so I could show her some pictures of my wife and children. It felt good but also it felt strange. It still feels like my brain is not working the same way as my heart. There are still things I do not understand about the mothers heart in a woman but I so would like to understand and know more. I guess this is the beginning of a new relationship with not only my mother, I also have a grandmother, one sister and four brothers and their children... Before we left my mothers place we changed phone numbers and we are now going to stay in touch. If the Lord is willing and it is possible we are trying to go and see both my mother and my grandmother next summer again, then with my wife and my children.
The birth place
Next day, on wednesday me and brother Janne drove to Jyväskylä, the city where I was born. Our first stop was at the local hospital where I was born and it felt like returning to my roots standing on that ground thinking that "this is where I was born". We walked in to the department where babies are born and I rang the bell. The woman who showed up looked kind of surprised when she saw two men with beards. I told her my story that I was born at this hospital and she told me that the re-built the hospital many time since then but the building is still the same. She might have thought I was crazy but that was my gift to her this wonderful day in december 2010.
Meeting my grand mother
From the hospital we drove to my grand mother. We had the address and we rang her door bell. I had the same kind of feelings as I had the day before when I stood outside my mothers door. My grand mother opened the door and there she stood. She hugged me in a way that touched my heart and I now know that it was because of the love of GOD she is carrying. I had never thought about it before but my grand mother have been saved almost all her life and she is one of these old school Christians who lives in a close and intimate relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ through His Holy Spirit.
She had so many stories to tell about her life with GOD and all kinds of testimonies that just confirmed things that has been on my mind for a long time now. We have to listen more to this older generation that have walked before us. They know GOD better than we do when we try to do everything new in our own strength in todays churches. Of course GOD does new things but JESUS is still the same yesterday, today and forever. One thing is for sure and that is that GOD is NOT kicking our old wonderful Christians out of His Kingdom even if they are kicked out from some of our too charismatic churches.
My grand mother also told me that I am a prayer child and now I realize that both her and my mother have been praying for me for 38 years. This answers many of my questions since much have happened in my life where I should have been dead a long time ago. GOD has always been with me even if I did not believe in Him. Only fools say that GOD cant speak to you if you are not born again. It is amazing how GOD is using the older generation to speak to the younger generation. I am blessed and honored to have so many older brothers and sisters who are sharing things with me. It is time we as Christians start to listen to those who have been walking here before us.
I still have some feelings to deal with after this week, one thing is that if it really is GODS will for me to record a record in finnish. People have asked me before and even record labels have asked when I will be doing something in finnish and my answer has always been short: NEVER! Maybe it is time to kick out that pride and use all the wonderful lyrics my grand mother gave me. Lyrics about heaven, about the blood of Jesus, about the cross, about God... I have to ask GOD if it is HIS will as then it will happen. It also amazes me that my grand mother have been writing lyrics for 30 years but not used them for anything specific. She just said that she knew that someone will use them one they and handed me some of her best ones.
Also my heart is trying to get my brain to understand all things that have happened this week. In some ways it feels difficult to speak about my mother with my mother. All of a sudden I have two mother but still only one mother that I love with all my heart, the mother that raised me and loved me all these years. On the other hand I have the biological mother that gave me away because she loved me and who have been remembering me in prayers for 38 years. My mom and dad will always remain my mom and dad and these are things that I am working with in prayers right now. I want my brain to understand my heart but again our heart is our heart and thats where Jesus lives when our brain is from our flesh, our biggest enemy.
It was such a blessing to meet my mother and my grand mother. I still have one sister and four brothers to meet and if GOD is willing we are going to meet one day. We are also planning to visit my mother and grand mother together with my wife and our four children next summer. This all things are parts of the healing and process in my life. I feel that things have left my heart that have been bothering me and that GOD surely have given me something new, my mother and my grand mother. Thank you Jesus!
Brother Jannes birthday and a local meeting
As it was brother Jannes birthday we already had birthday lunch at a thai restaurant on our way from the hospital where I was born to my grand mothers place. At night I had the honor to celebrate his 35th birthday together with his family in his home.
After the birthday party we went to brother Jannes home church, the local pentecostal church for a prayer meeting. I shared what was on my mind and told the congregation about the meetings with my mother and grand mother. This testimony seems to touch people and I dont still understand it in full. My prayer is that GOD would let me understand what is in my heart more and more for each day.
During this prayer meeting I actually sang one song in finnish, for the first time ever since we recorded the song Hemo Hes back in 2001. I wonder if this is a sign that I should work on new songs in finnish?
Meeting outside Turku
From Toivakka I drove through Tampere down to Turku on the west coast of Finland. I had one day just on my own to think about things. On friday night I was invited to speak at a youth night in a church in Piikkiö outside Turku. The youth were gathered and I gave my testimony and sang some of my songs. It was probably one of the hardest meetings for a long time, some of the youth were making noise in the background but GOD encouraged me to go on and I did finnish the meeting in good shape feeling victory in Jesus name. I know that there were people that got touched this night as GOD pointed out those young people to me. I will be praying for them as I know GOD has HIS eyes upon them and some of them have a call on their lives. It is amazing how GOD works and we can not understand it all. All we can do is trust and believe in HIM.
Today is the day of Salvation
I had some big time revelations the other night and I also woke up in the middle of the night thinking about one of the men I prayed for while I was over in Florida. In the middle of the night I wrote a mail to one of the brothers over there and asked how this man is doing. When I got home last night I had a mail in my inbox with the news that this man passed away the same morning. I believe it was the connection in the Spirit that GOD put this soul on my heart and woke me up in the middle of the night. I had been thinking about him as it was one of the hardest things during my american trip to visit these death beds. Anyway, we know that this man is a brother of ours in Christ Jesus and that he now is at home together with GOD. Thats all that matters, for us to give our lives to JESUS while we still are alive. We can not know about tomorrow, we can not know when we take our last breath. GOD gave us a gift, salvation and eternal life in Christ Jesus and GODS will for us is to accept the gift and say yes to Jesus. If you´re not sure about your relationship with Jesus you can read more about it HERE. Today IS the day of salvation!
We did it together!
Another revelation were that I am not alone if I do some of these missions on my own. I have many of you with me as you are not only praying for me. This week I really felt that all of you who were following my journey on Facebook and on my blogs were with me. I did not go on this trip on my own and I was never alone. Jesus were with me all the time and so were all of you who sent me encouraging e-mails and comments, all of you who have remembered me and my family in your prayers. We did this trip together and I just would like to thank you all for standing behind me in prayers. I love you all!
Now I dont have any more meetings scheduled for this year. I will take some time off with my family and my bible and some books written by my brother and teacher Tommy Lilja. I would like to invite you all to my fourth anniversary at my church, Kvevlax Missionskyrka january 1st at 7pm. More information in the calendar. Next year is now under planning and I am looking forward to get back out on the roads with the good news, the best possible news ever, the great news about Jesus Christ.
Stay Blessed!
Pontus
Alla är varmt välkomna till min fyra års fest i
Kvevlax missionskyrka. Det blir en underbar
kväll i Guds närvaro med något för alla.
Kom som du är!
Mötesledare: Tom Ingvesgård
Tulkkaus suomeksi! Tervetuloa!
