These things were a consequence of my sin: anxiety, guiltiness, loneliness, restlessness, being a slave and addict to drugs and alcohol. But I found that there was help for me!
I want to give my own testimony of how I've been set free from the slavery of sin and judgment that my deeds have deserved.
On my father's side, our family came from Northern Pohjanmaa. My family on my father's side have lived hundreds of years in that area, and they have been atheists for many generations, denying God's existance. My mother's Orthodox family comes from Northern Karjala and they've lived there hundreds of years, but the in the 50's, people moved from there to Helsinki looking for work. I was born in the mid-50's in Helsinki. My father, according to his beliefs, didn't want the children to be baptized in the church. When I was six-year old I was baptized into the Lutheran Church. In my father's family, there has always been a lot of alcoholism, which problem I had inherited, too.
The short relief from my problems that I felt when I drank made me an addict and slave to alcohol. This alcohol habit was something I just "had" to do, and the alcohol made me do many things that I regretted. But for the sadness I was experiencing, I had to drink the alcohol for some relief, and it was a terrible circle which I myself could not get out of. This continued for twenty years, and it brought serious problems, because I loved alcohol more than work and family. This addiction caused me to lose them both. One night ten years ago, I realized that everything was falling apart because of this addiction. I realized that if I continued in this alcoholic lifestyle, I wouldn't have family, friends, work or even a future because the situation was so hopeless.
After waking up at 2 a.m., all the things in my life came into my mind and I realized that, at the age of 40, I was a total failure. In this desperate situation, a thought came into my mind. "Jesus, if you are real, help me." When I said those words in my thoughts, right away I saw my room filled with brightness, and I saw how from this brightness, a ball of light came straight towards my head. The whole experience was holy, and also frightening. I really thought that it was the moment of my death, because I couldn't move. It felt like electricity went back and forth through my body, and I heard heavenly, never-before-heard (by me!) music, and I felt freedom and joy. After this happened, I realized that Jesus did hear my desperate prayer, and set me free to be a child of God and free from the slavery of sin and bondages. This experience was real, not a dream.
After this experience, Jesus led me to meet other Christians, and I was so in love with Jesus that I didn't know anything more dear than to read the Bible. After I found a church, I had a desire to go and testify about the love that Jesus had showed to me so that I have visited prisons in Finland, and in Russia (St. Petersburg and Lahdenpohja, Karjala). I was able to tell about my testimony and how Jesus can help us sinners. Nobody has to stay in desperation and wonder if Jesus is really capable to help. Everyone can experience Him by confessing their sins and admitting that they need help and by asking Jesus to come in their heart. You must confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is your Savior, so you can be saved from the coming judgment. Why is this situation so? Because Jesus took our place on the cross and shed His innocent blood for us. After you ask Jesus into your heart and confess Him as Lord, be sure to seek Christian fellowship and learn to know Jesus, your Lord, deeper. Then give a testimony of what Jesus does for you, giving glory to His name!
Pentti Mattila
