Today I just have a feeling that I should share some things I have been through in my life and we all know that as a Christian it is important to fellowship with other Christians and have a spiritual home.
January 3rd 2007 when I was very sick my brother and friend Ben Antell took me with him to a country side church outside my home town Vasa here in Finland. First I was very scared to go to the church and I asked Ben if I can drink when we go. He told me that I could drink a little but not bring the bottle into the church. I had a small bottle of strong alcohol with me as I was still a slave under alcohol and could not live without it. The reason why I was scared was that I had met so many "christians" in my life that thought they were better people than non christians and they also pointed fingers and said that all other people are going to burn in hell. Today I know better and I leave all that about who goes to hell to God. There is nothing WE can do about that decision, it is all up to HIM, period.
Anyway, we came to the church and I was scared. I think this was the first time I said Halleluja as when we got there the church was closed as it was so close to new years eve so they had decided to not have a meeting that night. All of a sudden the lights came on and some people showed up. I was so week because of my condition that I could not walk by myself so Ben helped me into the church and we sat down on the very first row. The people who were there did not point any fingers at me and they did not tell me that I was going to burn in hell. First of all they listened to what I had on my heart. They laid hands on me and prayed and I cried out that I want to be free from this addiction and that I want to be a better father for my four children and a better husband for my wife. I was crying like never before and the people in that church really cared about me. I could not believe that these people were what Ben had told me they were; filled with love.
I was most likely crying, crying and crying for at least one hour, may be two! And before that I had that attitude of a rockstar that men with long hair and tattoos never cry. Today I know better as not so long ago, at a meeting when I felt people being broken hearted God told me something. He told me that every single tear is valuable and each and every tear is a sign that something is happening inside of you. At this time several people just started to cry and after the meeting they continued crying and told me that its been a long time since they been able to cry out. I am honored that God is speaking to me at times like this when I get to see people touched by God.
This night just over three years ago came to be important for my future in many ways. I just had a feeling deep inside of me that these people who listened to me, talked with me and gave me all that love had something that I wanted to have. That same night I realised that what I need is a personal relationship with Jesus and that same night I gave my life back to Jesus and I told Him that I was ready to pay the price that it cost to be healed, delivered and set free. That night on our way home I threw up almost everything I had in my stomach and if I remember right I did not drink anymore after that night. Those prayers that night were heard in heaven and I got free from addictions of drugs and alcohol. Thank you Jesus!
As many of you know I continued meeting in a home group out of this same church and I attended a couple of meetings and received prayers before I got really sick and ended up at the hospital without any hope to survive. I am not going to speak about how sick I was or all that today but I am going to tell you what the people in that same church that I had visited only a couple of times did for me.
These people that I had met at church were the first people who came to visit me at the hospital and they laid hands on me and prayed in Jesus name. Every day during my 33 days at the hospital one or many from this church came to my death bed. During their meetings in church those people who had never seen me prayed for me in Jesus name and in their home groups they remembered me, the alcoholic and drug addict in their prayers. There were also other Christians who showed up at the hospital praying for me and I really got to see what the real Christians are.
As you know I am totally healed today, delivered and set free. All this because of that these wonderful people prayed for me and finally I had my encounter with Jesus who came and gave my a mission to go out and tell all the people about HIM and about my life.
Of course I was week for a long time and I was also paralyzed in both legs. Ben who led me to the Lord took care of me like a child and did everything God told him to do. He picked me up every single wednesday for a couple of months, carried me into his car and into my wheelchair at church. He took me to gospel concerts and other places just so I could meet with other Christians. Today I am thankful for that time when I was in that wheelchair as not only on these meetings I got to know Jesus better. I had all the time all days to read the Bible, pray and spend time with my Saviour.
I came out of a life in darkness and there were many issues in my life. The people at church gave me clothes when I did not have clothes, they fed me when I was hungry and gave me water when I was thirsty, they gave me a place to sleep when I did not have a place to sleep... this is what they did to me. They gave me so much love that it is still hard for me to receive it. They poured out the love of God over me and not only took care of me, they also took care of my family. This is what I today want to call real faith and pure Christian love.
In this church I got baptized april 25th 2007 and a short while later I got baptized in the Holy Spirit. I got so much love during this time and I am still getting it, this is WHY I feel I have so much to give not only to one or two people. I really want to reach the nations and tell all the world about what JESUS have done in my life.
Of course I have been rebellious and also had struggles in my church. Not because of them but because of me. Imagine how our own flesh can be our biggest enemy and do things we later will regret. In january 2009 I left my church because of some small issues and I became a member of another church. Nothing wrong with this new church but my heart was still in my old church. In nine months I was out there and could not feel the spiritual support that I needed in my heart and soul. I tried to do things for the Lord and did things for the Lord but not all of them according to HIS will. I more and more came to do things in my own strength and it was later I came to realise how important it is to be one with your church. I could not be one with my new church as my heart was somewhere else.
It was painful and rough to face the fact that I was wrong. It took all my pride to confess this to the pastors in both churches that I had done a big mistake when I left my church. Praise God for understanding pastors. I asked them to forgive me and they forgave me and I could move back to my old church. I still today remember that one night when I stood up before the congregation and asked them to forgive me as I had walked away. I asked them if they could concider taking me back and they both forgave me and welcomed me with the love of God and open arms. That night when I drove home I cried in my car. I was so happy and I called my wife and told her that I am going back to my church that I love so much, she said: - Thats good!
Today I am back in this church and have now been there since september 2009 again. I can not stop loving these people and every wednesday night the atmosphere is filled with the presence of God and there is so much love that I can not descibe it with words.
I just felt I had to share this with all of you as it is important that we have a spiritual home and that we have spiritual fathers and mothers. I am blessed so I have many spiritual fathers and mothers and when I am out there sharing my testimony and preaching the simple gospel I can feel them being behind me. I love my church and most of all I love my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ!
God Bless you all!
Pontus
